Sunday, January 4, 2009
Turtle, Ostrich, Hedgehog....
So here I am...I want to point out that if you 'google' - MY brain there are what I would consider an inordinate number of pages and entries. My brain- no actually Rosemary's brain, and it seems that most of them seem to be about some worm living inside of this other person named Rosemary's brain. Now I will admit that I didn't look at all 1,810,000 - possible entries. But still; it left me on overload. Any way I found that to find me you need to have my name and brain and in the posessive be one word then there are only two pages of stuff, there I am!
Which of course takes me right back to the whole point of what I was feeling about -
Now not that I have as YET written anything so amazing or important, this whole process of learning how to go about, even starting it and then doing it and well being - out there, here... Leaves me feeling raw, exposed! Now I model for Art classes and I have since I was in my 20's, which in fact is a very long time - the only part of modeling that leaves me feeling this Raw is when I sit -clothed for a Portraiture class. That's right they are only doing my face! Well, maybe they might add in a bit of a shoulder or hand; so that I don't look decapitated.
Bottom line I feel laid bare, open like a can of sardines, the lid rolled back so that we could count the little buggers before we ate them if we wanted- Open on a slab- sitting in front of the judge telling my side of the Story, so that others might say well-that's not exactly. The point is I feel like I could become a turtle-hide in a shell; ostrich- bury my head in the sand; (no portrait of that face); or maybe a hedgehog-and roll into a ball till the pressived danger is gone.
None of which I plan to do. At this point in the game I AM HERE, and though not ready to be assimilated...I do want to be read, heard. Moments of Wisdom, Brilliance, Humour that run deep from a life Lived. That I would like to share. Some of it funny, some not so - I believe I have shall we say a "different" way of seeing and putting things together- Each of us has our way of seeing, saying, feeling, touching even tasting Life. It is indeed a process and a new learning curve- it's a new day - Try something different, something out of your comfort zone -(might I suggest that it is helpful to drag along a friend who knows these things- Thank you Mo for all your support and help). Give it a whirl! Live Life, laugh sometimes when you want to cry, and by all means laugh so hard that you do cry. As Mary Oliver asks- "What do you want to do with your One wild and precious Life?"
by the by - how do they get so many sardines in the can?and you know you're in trouble - when even spell check can't figure out what word you're trying to use! Oh, well - time to break out the dinosaurs of a dictionary!
Be well, till we met and read again!
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