Thursday, February 17, 2011

Singing to the Moon and Sun

I sing now to the morning Sun
That she may warm
The Hearts of all~
Let your light be reflected in us.
Open our arms to embrace each other.

last night...

Oh, I sang to the Moon
As you lay sleeping
Her song returned to wrap us
In Beauty and Dreams.
Love as you lay close.

moon photo by me Sunrise taken by Beth Duncan at Christmas

Monday, February 14, 2011

I carry you ~ in my Heart!

I carry you ~ in my Heart!

Our Being true to ourselves is LOVE. And that takes courage and willingness to sit with what works and doesn’t, what serves us and what doesn’t. How in the end does serving our self, serve the Greater Good of All?

May Love find you~ may you in turn find Love as it surrounds you.
We are children of the Universe~ we are Loved.
Invite yourself to BE LOVE ~

self portraiture

Friday, December 31, 2010

Teachers, Guides Sign Post Along the Way.

I am taking part in a project called #reverb10 – which has become an annual event. An online initiative encouraging participants to reflect on this year, with and eye toward what’s next. “We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.” (This line straight from their site.)

Prompt: Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year. Author Kathryn Fitzmaurice

A moment in time, it was an invitation to join my daughter in a yoga class! It would be good I had travel by car to a workshop and on my way back toward home, I had stopped in to visit Tirzah. Newly come to yoga, she wanted to share her studio and her friend the instructor Kimberly with me. I was delighted! I have a home practice and I drop in here and there. About 2 years ago I injured some muscles in my left hip; what does this have to do with my home practice you may ask. When you find a pose that is now almost impossible for you to do, pain-free ~ well, you are at home, nobody will know that you’ve skipped over your favorite pose – pigeon, or any of those other left leaning hip opener, oh right and squatting ~ out!

I’ve always been flexible~ much to the chagrin of my daughter. No stretching problems here. Enter Kimberly Musial of The Yoga Hive, Pittsburgh, PA. Teaching and inviting her class to move through the poses, she hits pigeon~ I think no problem. I love this pose! Oops

Oh, but I’ve not done it in 2 years, and my hip is still recovering. I find myself dropped to the matt, my daughter next to me, noticing myself. I am unable to do my favorite pose without or even with blocks! My heart breaks from within ~ I am able to stay contained ~ yet I am aware of all that I have lost, how I’ve cheated myself. Breath, a saving Grace; I take myself back to the mat. Noticing, I don’ t want to say just noticing, it is deeper then that ~ noticing it is all I can do, as we continue the practice for the morning. I will have time to sit into the feelings; I have a 13 hour drive before me.

What became of all this? I learned that we ALL need teachers to guide us~ no matter the level of our practice. It is easy to get into a groove, that doesn’t invite us to our growth, our Potent! This is not ok for me, for myself! That chronic pain takes energy away from what we enjoy; this has gifted me a better understanding of/for my clients that live daily with chronic pain. I had not been able to see this in myself.

With great gratitude, I bow to The Yoga Hive, Kimberly as teacher, my daughter Tirzah always the love of my Soul and teacher extraordinaire! I am filled to overflowing with Gratitude.

By December of 2011 I will again be able to do pigeon, crow and elephant ~ Pain Free.
This for myself ~ for my growth!

photo by T.Griffin
The Yoga Hive logo~

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Wisdom of Eleven Makes for Two Days

I am taking part in a project called #reverb10 – which has become an annual event. An online initiative encouraging participants to reflect on this year, with and eye toward what’s next. “We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.” (This line straight from their site.)

Some days the writing is better then others – my personal journey through the questions, muddled in the coarse of a day. Using my daily ‘business’ to distract the writer within ~ the critic voice becomes louder~ putting these on my list of 11.

Day 10 ~Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? Author Susannah Conway

Day 11 ~Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? Author Sam Davidson

I am going to run these two Prompts together for it is through my choice of Wisdom that allows for me to view the others.

Wisdom - To Sit, Listen, Breathe, Stillness. I am able to begin Really listening to the truth of the voice within, then into Action. Breathe, Ground, Sound, Move! By doing this instead of reacting to stimuli, I have learned to trust my Own inner Voice ~ the one that knows, that is able to discern what is best for me. I am listening to Self ~vs.~ the voices of others. I do know what is best for me ~ when I am not reactionary.

Let unconquerable gladness dwell.
- Sign on FDR's desk

11 Things ~

1. Excess Weight ~ Be it physical, emotional or just the stuff that creates clutter. There is a weight to distractions, to the baggage we chose to keep at our fingertips. I want to find the roots of all the weight I use to keep myself stuck. More energy for ME!

2. The Voice of the Critic ~ I feel I need to have a talk with this one. It is the critical – “You, an artist, a writer?” The voice that says I am not good enough. An invitation for this voice to find a more compassionate nature ~ or it may take a hike. More energy ~

3. Isolation ~ Throwing this one right out the door. Made some choices around this one all ready, by making plans not to spend any of these Winter Holidays alone. No, isolation – no sinking into the muck of ‘nobody loves me’ ~ Who do I think I’m kidding, clearly not my friends. Perhaps I need to do the calling. What more energy for what I Want!

4. Busy Work ~ Oh, indeed busy work is the devil’s play shop. A little goes a long way, in my case it too becomes a distraction. No calendar time for ‘busy work’. I want and will have more energy for what I want to create in my Life.

5. Gossip ~ Putting this out there to help guide myself. I don’t want to look at your life’s issue, so that I don’t have to be honest in mine ~ I read this yesterday; there was more to it but in a Nutshell ~ "So retrieve all your projections—“You spot it, you got it”—and enjoy the healing force of right speech." —Joan Halifax More energy, that I can use for me.

6. Talking ~ How do I mean this~ I want to listen more. Open more space to hear about what is going on with YOU! I want to talk less about what isn’t right for me. I want to hold to my attitude of gratitude. Creating more energy for joy, for art, for work that feeds my soul.

7. ‘If only I had …’~ I learned to drop should from my vocabulary, when I saw how it didn’t serve me or my friends. I know I can knock this one out too, for it no longer serves! This would leave more energy for Dreaming, for Intentions.

8. Financial crises ~ At 56 soon to be 57 perhaps it is time to create a budget. To look at the due dates of bills. Noticing what I have coming in as Income ~ vs. ~ what are costs, needs, wants. Oh, look more energy again, not being wasted on being in a panic, did I or didn’t I pay that. A budget – what a novel Idea.

9. Worry ~ About who knows what, do they like me, did I do that right, what if I’m a fraud! It is none of my business what you think of me. I like myself for the most part that IS Enough. Oh, yes, here we are again more energy to go toward what really matters.

10. Fear ~ Now I will admit that a bit of fear is a healthy emotion, without it we lose sight of things that could potentially be dangerous ~ Yet, I become fear full of trying new things sometimes ~ stretching! If I don’t think I can succeed I don’t try – ‘there is no try only do’ Yoda.

11. Sibling estrangement ~ There are a total of 5 siblings, we’ve all grown up and gone different ways. We were strangers as children growing up, afraid to align ourselves with each other ~ what if we picked the wrong sibling? What then. We learned not to trust each other, what tag line did we have? Both of our parents are gone ~ leaving us Orphans to ourselves. This hurts my heart deeply. Ran into one of my brothers while visiting, my daughter. How funny is that ~ I looked up and said to myself ~ hmmm, I feel like I know that person, but how could I ~ I’m miles away from home. Though I wasn’t; I was home with my Heart, my child~ home with my Heart. Time to make a call. How much energy am I squandering? Not any more!

A list I am grateful to have been able to sit and create. Not sure I would have without the prompt. It is not part of my nature to make resolutions for the new year ~ this feels very different ~ more of a what burden may I lay down ~ and what might bloom in its place?

Be well my friends.

“I cannot turn my eyes, I cannot count the costs of all that has been broken, of all that has been lost.” Jennifer Brezen

Photo by the fabulous Tirzah Griffin @ of my brother and I! It may be the last of the 11, it makes it no less closer to my heart.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Process on Reflection

I am taking part in a project called #reverb10 – which has become an annual event. An online initiative encouraging participants to reflect on this year, with and eye toward what’s next. “We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.” (This line straight from their site.)

It is most helpful if when one writes they don’t leave it in draft – sort of difficult to read and comment upon. During the month as I sat with the reflection process through out the day I found I didn’t get back to writing the response to the given prompt. .I kept thinking well, I’ll take some time and catch up on my writing – turn the drafts into full out responses. Yet, here it is nearly the end ~ I came to realize ~ I didn’t need to catch up. The whole process was to be a reflection, a sharing – and who wants to read 5 days worth of musings in one sitting? Not I said this Crow – I did read a lot of the others, lots of folks jumped in, to look back at their year, looking at both happy, sad, joyous, difficult times. TO reflect on what was gleaned. What was transmitted not only at the time, but in the sitting with and looking back, to look toward what was desired for the coming year. How do events change when the memory between the happening and the looking back, is within the year? When our growth and the looking inward creates a whole different outlook, or response then was felt at the time?. In the short version of Rilke – May you some day live into the question of the answer you have lived..

What doors were open, what new friends have I made through this community of sharing? What opportunities did I open for myself in the act of this responding to others questions, about my year? There were great questions! Leaving me much still to maul over. Things I learned and noticed about myself that I’d before not known. When this rolls around again, I think I’ll follow another person’s suggestion for themselves of responding in 15 minutes. I can see now where that is useful.

I am an early morning, sometimes late night writer. I am a writer, that is not disciplined in her practice ~ this is something I will work to change in the coming year. I have books to write and publish. Plus, as my grand-daughter once said to me ~ “I have friends.” You have supported me in my writing, my Life, my friendships and growth. No letting you down so fast or easy, it’s not my way.
Thank you for listening and reading and comments made. I think I will make the time to finish out the days, perhaps I’ll use some of the prompts in the new year ~ and yes there will most likely be a few “catch ups”.

In love and gratitude….Me

photo~ taken at Cornerbrook

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Memeory ~Lost and Found? Day 15

I am taking part in a project called #reverb10 – which has become an annual event. (My first time.) An online initiative encouraging participants to reflect on the year, with an eye toward what’s next. “We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.” This line straight from their site.
Some days are better then others – feel like I’ve answered some really great questions ~ Thank you for your input!

Prompt: 5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. Author Patti Digh

Laughing with my daughter, Tirzah, my lighting rod for Life!

Believing in myself enough to know I’m not broken and I don’t need to be fixed!

Sitting in silence with a friend, being a witness.

Being able to sit with a friend, as he was getting ready to pass –we laughed that I’d not been dead in a while, so couldn't remember what it was like.

Laughing with myself about myself, I am a Party all by myself :)

Watching clients grow.

Cooking and holding Sacred Space for Women in Retreat.

Holding Space in general for Growth, Peace Compassion and Love.

Crying so hard snot came out my nose.

The hand of a lover stroking the top of my head.

Coming to terms with leaving said lover.

Wait! There's more, so much more......
This is were I wish I could type more then 100 words a minute.

heart cloud - 4th of July 2009

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Day 9 Party of One?

Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. Author Shauna Reid

Often – I celebrate a party of One ~ myself a silk screen, apron over what ever I have on, turn up the music, listen to a dream, bring on the thoughts of friends who receive these calendars anew each new moon ~ ah now that’s a Party to Rock my world. Sweet and Simple. I am an ARTIST ~ I can say it out loud. I can share my Art..

Any time one or more are gather to play, create~ I love it. I most often get together for Art Saturdays with my friend Ann~ we can spend an entire day ~ few words working on the same or different things entirely. Add a bit of noshing ~ Party.

I want to cultivate more time to play and create with more friends. What’s your choice of supplies? Come play with me.