Thursday, December 30, 2010

Wisdom of Eleven Makes for Two Days

I am taking part in a project called #reverb10 – which has become an annual event. An online initiative encouraging participants to reflect on this year, with and eye toward what’s next. “We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.” (This line straight from their site.)

Some days the writing is better then others – my personal journey through the questions, muddled in the coarse of a day. Using my daily ‘business’ to distract the writer within ~ the critic voice becomes louder~ putting these on my list of 11.

Day 10 ~Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? Author Susannah Conway

Day 11 ~Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? Author Sam Davidson

I am going to run these two Prompts together for it is through my choice of Wisdom that allows for me to view the others.

Wisdom - To Sit, Listen, Breathe, Stillness. I am able to begin Really listening to the truth of the voice within, then into Action. Breathe, Ground, Sound, Move! By doing this instead of reacting to stimuli, I have learned to trust my Own inner Voice ~ the one that knows, that is able to discern what is best for me. I am listening to Self ~vs.~ the voices of others. I do know what is best for me ~ when I am not reactionary.

Let unconquerable gladness dwell.
- Sign on FDR's desk

11 Things ~

1. Excess Weight ~ Be it physical, emotional or just the stuff that creates clutter. There is a weight to distractions, to the baggage we chose to keep at our fingertips. I want to find the roots of all the weight I use to keep myself stuck. More energy for ME!

2. The Voice of the Critic ~ I feel I need to have a talk with this one. It is the critical – “You, an artist, a writer?” The voice that says I am not good enough. An invitation for this voice to find a more compassionate nature ~ or it may take a hike. More energy ~

3. Isolation ~ Throwing this one right out the door. Made some choices around this one all ready, by making plans not to spend any of these Winter Holidays alone. No, isolation – no sinking into the muck of ‘nobody loves me’ ~ Who do I think I’m kidding, clearly not my friends. Perhaps I need to do the calling. What more energy for what I Want!

4. Busy Work ~ Oh, indeed busy work is the devil’s play shop. A little goes a long way, in my case it too becomes a distraction. No calendar time for ‘busy work’. I want and will have more energy for what I want to create in my Life.

5. Gossip ~ Putting this out there to help guide myself. I don’t want to look at your life’s issue, so that I don’t have to be honest in mine ~ I read this yesterday; there was more to it but in a Nutshell ~ "So retrieve all your projections—“You spot it, you got it”—and enjoy the healing force of right speech." —Joan Halifax More energy, that I can use for me.

6. Talking ~ How do I mean this~ I want to listen more. Open more space to hear about what is going on with YOU! I want to talk less about what isn’t right for me. I want to hold to my attitude of gratitude. Creating more energy for joy, for art, for work that feeds my soul.

7. ‘If only I had …’~ I learned to drop should from my vocabulary, when I saw how it didn’t serve me or my friends. I know I can knock this one out too, for it no longer serves! This would leave more energy for Dreaming, for Intentions.

8. Financial crises ~ At 56 soon to be 57 perhaps it is time to create a budget. To look at the due dates of bills. Noticing what I have coming in as Income ~ vs. ~ what are costs, needs, wants. Oh, look more energy again, not being wasted on being in a panic, did I or didn’t I pay that. A budget – what a novel Idea.

9. Worry ~ About who knows what, do they like me, did I do that right, what if I’m a fraud! It is none of my business what you think of me. I like myself for the most part that IS Enough. Oh, yes, here we are again more energy to go toward what really matters.

10. Fear ~ Now I will admit that a bit of fear is a healthy emotion, without it we lose sight of things that could potentially be dangerous ~ Yet, I become fear full of trying new things sometimes ~ stretching! If I don’t think I can succeed I don’t try – ‘there is no try only do’ Yoda.

11. Sibling estrangement ~ There are a total of 5 siblings, we’ve all grown up and gone different ways. We were strangers as children growing up, afraid to align ourselves with each other ~ what if we picked the wrong sibling? What then. We learned not to trust each other, what tag line did we have? Both of our parents are gone ~ leaving us Orphans to ourselves. This hurts my heart deeply. Ran into one of my brothers while visiting, my daughter. How funny is that ~ I looked up and said to myself ~ hmmm, I feel like I know that person, but how could I ~ I’m miles away from home. Though I wasn’t; I was home with my Heart, my child~ home with my Heart. Time to make a call. How much energy am I squandering? Not any more!

A list I am grateful to have been able to sit and create. Not sure I would have without the prompt. It is not part of my nature to make resolutions for the new year ~ this feels very different ~ more of a what burden may I lay down ~ and what might bloom in its place?

Be well my friends.

“I cannot turn my eyes, I cannot count the costs of all that has been broken, of all that has been lost.” Jennifer Brezen

Photo by the fabulous Tirzah Griffin @ of my brother and I! It may be the last of the 11, it makes it no less closer to my heart.

No comments:

Post a Comment