Teachers, Guides Sign Post Along the Way.

I am taking part in a project called #reverb10 – which has become an annual event. An online initiative encouraging participants to reflect on this year, with and eye toward what’s next. “We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.” (This line straight from their site.)

Prompt: Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year. Author Kathryn Fitzmaurice

A moment in time, it was an invitation to join my daughter in a yoga class! It would be good I had travel by car to a workshop and on my way back toward home, I had stopped in to visit Tirzah. Newly come to yoga, she wanted to share her studio and her friend the instructor Kimberly with me. I was delighted! I have a home practice and I drop in here and there. About 2 years ago I injured some muscles in my left hip; what does this have to do with my home practice you may ask. When you find a pose that is now almost impossible for you to do, pain-free ~ well, you are at home, nobody will know that you’ve skipped over your favorite pose – pigeon, or any of those other left leaning hip opener, oh right and squatting ~ out!

I’ve always been flexible~ much to the chagrin of my daughter. No stretching problems here. Enter Kimberly Musial of The Yoga Hive, Pittsburgh, PA. Teaching and inviting her class to move through the poses, she hits pigeon~ I think no problem. I love this pose! Oops

Oh, but I’ve not done it in 2 years, and my hip is still recovering. I find myself dropped to the matt, my daughter next to me, noticing myself. I am unable to do my favorite pose without or even with blocks! My heart breaks from within ~ I am able to stay contained ~ yet I am aware of all that I have lost, how I’ve cheated myself. Breath, a saving Grace; I take myself back to the mat. Noticing, I don’ t want to say just noticing, it is deeper then that ~ noticing it is all I can do, as we continue the practice for the morning. I will have time to sit into the feelings; I have a 13 hour drive before me.

What became of all this? I learned that we ALL need teachers to guide us~ no matter the level of our practice. It is easy to get into a groove, that doesn’t invite us to our growth, our Potent! This is not ok for me, for myself! That chronic pain takes energy away from what we enjoy; this has gifted me a better understanding of/for my clients that live daily with chronic pain. I had not been able to see this in myself.

With great gratitude, I bow to The Yoga Hive, Kimberly as teacher, my daughter Tirzah always the love of my Soul and teacher extraordinaire! I am filled to overflowing with Gratitude.

By December of 2011 I will again be able to do pigeon, crow and elephant ~ Pain Free.
This for myself ~ for my growth!
Namaste



photo by T.Griffin http://www.flickr.com/photos/tirzymcwirzy/
The Yoga Hive logo~

Wisdom of Eleven Makes for Two Days

I am taking part in a project called #reverb10 – which has become an annual event. An online initiative encouraging participants to reflect on this year, with and eye toward what’s next. “We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.” (This line straight from their site.)

Some days the writing is better then others – my personal journey through the questions, muddled in the coarse of a day. Using my daily ‘business’ to distract the writer within ~ the critic voice becomes louder~ putting these on my list of 11.


Day 10 ~Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? Author Susannah Conway


Day 11 ~Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? Author Sam Davidson

I am going to run these two Prompts together for it is through my choice of Wisdom that allows for me to view the others.

Wisdom - To Sit, Listen, Breathe, Stillness. I am able to begin Really listening to the truth of the voice within, then into Action. Breathe, Ground, Sound, Move! By doing this instead of reacting to stimuli, I have learned to trust my Own inner Voice ~ the one that knows, that is able to discern what is best for me. I am listening to Self ~vs.~ the voices of others. I do know what is best for me ~ when I am not reactionary.

Let unconquerable gladness dwell.
- Sign on FDR's desk

11 Things ~

1. Excess Weight ~ Be it physical, emotional or just the stuff that creates clutter. There is a weight to distractions, to the baggage we chose to keep at our fingertips. I want to find the roots of all the weight I use to keep myself stuck. More energy for ME!

2. The Voice of the Critic ~ I feel I need to have a talk with this one. It is the critical – “You, an artist, a writer?” The voice that says I am not good enough. An invitation for this voice to find a more compassionate nature ~ or it may take a hike. More energy ~

3. Isolation ~ Throwing this one right out the door. Made some choices around this one all ready, by making plans not to spend any of these Winter Holidays alone. No, isolation – no sinking into the muck of ‘nobody loves me’ ~ Who do I think I’m kidding, clearly not my friends. Perhaps I need to do the calling. What more energy for what I Want!

4. Busy Work ~ Oh, indeed busy work is the devil’s play shop. A little goes a long way, in my case it too becomes a distraction. No calendar time for ‘busy work’. I want and will have more energy for what I want to create in my Life.

5. Gossip ~ Putting this out there to help guide myself. I don’t want to look at your life’s issue, so that I don’t have to be honest in mine ~ I read this yesterday; there was more to it but in a Nutshell ~ "So retrieve all your projections—“You spot it, you got it”—and enjoy the healing force of right speech." —Joan Halifax More energy, that I can use for me.

6. Talking ~ How do I mean this~ I want to listen more. Open more space to hear about what is going on with YOU! I want to talk less about what isn’t right for me. I want to hold to my attitude of gratitude. Creating more energy for joy, for art, for work that feeds my soul.

7. ‘If only I had …’~ I learned to drop should from my vocabulary, when I saw how it didn’t serve me or my friends. I know I can knock this one out too, for it no longer serves! This would leave more energy for Dreaming, for Intentions.

8. Financial crises ~ At 56 soon to be 57 perhaps it is time to create a budget. To look at the due dates of bills. Noticing what I have coming in as Income ~ vs. ~ what are costs, needs, wants. Oh, look more energy again, not being wasted on being in a panic, did I or didn’t I pay that. A budget – what a novel Idea.

9. Worry ~ About who knows what, do they like me, did I do that right, what if I’m a fraud! It is none of my business what you think of me. I like myself for the most part that IS Enough. Oh, yes, here we are again more energy to go toward what really matters.

10. Fear ~ Now I will admit that a bit of fear is a healthy emotion, without it we lose sight of things that could potentially be dangerous ~ Yet, I become fear full of trying new things sometimes ~ stretching! If I don’t think I can succeed I don’t try – ‘there is no try only do’ Yoda.

11. Sibling estrangement ~ There are a total of 5 siblings, we’ve all grown up and gone different ways. We were strangers as children growing up, afraid to align ourselves with each other ~ what if we picked the wrong sibling? What then. We learned not to trust each other, what tag line did we have? Both of our parents are gone ~ leaving us Orphans to ourselves. This hurts my heart deeply. Ran into one of my brothers while visiting, my daughter. How funny is that ~ I looked up and said to myself ~ hmmm, I feel like I know that person, but how could I ~ I’m miles away from home. Though I wasn’t; I was home with my Heart, my child~ home with my Heart. Time to make a call. How much energy am I squandering? Not any more!

A list I am grateful to have been able to sit and create. Not sure I would have without the prompt. It is not part of my nature to make resolutions for the new year ~ this feels very different ~ more of a what burden may I lay down ~ and what might bloom in its place?

Be well my friends.





“I cannot turn my eyes, I cannot count the costs of all that has been broken, of all that has been lost.” Jennifer Brezen




Photo by the fabulous Tirzah Griffin @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/tirzymcwirzy/ of my brother and I! It may be the last of the 11, it makes it no less closer to my heart.

Going, Going, G O N E

Prompt: “Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?” Alice Bradley

Oh, how I dislike that phrase. Let Go. It’s not like the items that we need to “let go” of are a suitcase that we can drop on the side of the road ~ some very, very deserted road! Some of those events have been things that have helped to form the person, I am today. For the most part ~ I love ME!

Let Go ~ of that person, that relationship? As a verb meaning: to abandon, forsake, leave, quit, relinquish ~ ICKS! Even when a person or relationship in my life is difficult I find it hard to forsake it ~ what part of me becomes lost to myself if I can turn completely away from someone? How do I then become extinct, gone for good?

Yes, indeed there are also friendships that this past year no longer serve me on a regular, day to day. I find more that I surrender into the fact that we are no longer a good match. I still hold them and YOU in my heart. I am here if you need me! CALL. I will not abandon you, but I will also not put myself in the path of mine or your destructive ways. In the past I have made choices that walked completely away from folks ~ somehow I found and still find it in my heart to be concerned in a more global sense.

Now what about stuff ~ Stuff in general ~ not anything in particular ~ I am an Artist and therefore keep hanging around all kinds of ‘items’ that others might choose to throw away. In has stepped The Great Purgapalouza Act of 2010. I have been going through clothing; seems I really am fairly conservative in my dressing; if you get rid of the scarves – NOT. Yet there have been items lurking for a couple seasons that I no longer wear, due to fit or it’s just not me. Papers in files~ these are my worst nightmare, articles that I believe I “should” save for future use, heck I never look at them again and only once in a while do I say to a client – oh, read this. Magazines with pictures that I might use for a collage ~ who am I kidding I don’t do collage!! I have friends that do, enjoy their work so I think, perhaps a Vision Board? Sorry, it’s not happening so ~ heck pack them up and out the door! OH, Wait! Here is something I have “Let Go”, subscriptions to monthly magazines, if I notice an article I really feel I’ll read then I pick it up – otherwise, how many subscription do you have coming on a regular basis that you don’t even look at, or put in the bathroom? My bathroom is much too small for a rack of magazines!

Yup ~ stuff! I am grateful for The Great Purgapalouza Act of 2010. It gives me pause, when ever I think to buy an item. How will it work or add to my overall life experience? Do I need it? Sometimes, yes even to that extra pair of sneaks (buy a pair off a pair, still 6 pairs) or another pair of ‘Mary Janes’ or any red shoe! I stand on my feet, I love my feet – they need good shoes.


Yet overall, I have radically cut down on purchases of stuff ~ Hmmm …LET GO OF STUFF… Going, going GONE. I see a t-shirt on Zazzle!

I am Grateful that I am loved for me, with or without the extra ‘Stuff’.
And to all a good night!




photo of crow~ Thank you T.Griffin at http://www.flickr.com/photos/tirzymcwirzy/

Sleepless In Wonder

Sleepless in wonder and joy. I spent most of the day outside working on a garden space that is meant to surround a Wind Turbine, turning the earth to prepare it for the shrubbery that would cover the base and bring again a sense of beauty to the eye as it looks out of the house toward Potato Point.
Yes, I am sleepless with Joy, the sun kissing my skin, in a t-shirt on this gloriously warm autumn day here in Maine. As I worked I spoke to the Earth as is my costume, I found myself also taking to the air surrounding me telling it that the space I was preparing was going to be in Honour of the Power it gifted the house through the energy created. During this process, a slight breeze began to pick up, to caress me. How is it that I have never noticed the wind noticing me? The gentleness of the Wind’s touch, as new lover, lenitive as it danced with my bareness, yet there was also a familiar-ness as with an old love. For me it was the Wonder of the Wind noticing me, clearly ~ I am opened yet again to the Other. That which we as humankind see outside ourselves, without motive or feeling. What better motive then to notice that which stands in front of, and speaking directly with you.
Yes, I am sleepless with the Mystery of the day. Sleepless in Wonder and Joy! I am awestruck with all the gifts the Divine Nature of the World offers up, when we take the time to notice.
I am happy to be sleepless in this wonder. Honoured and Blessed.
Yes, i am sleepless and I am wondering how often we may lay awake not in stress or worry, but with the wonder of the mysteries of the Universe that we are so blessed to be a part of. I would invite us to the place of wonder with what the Night may have to share with us, weather in dreams or our being awake to the sounds of the night. The beauty of the day having filled us so, we are to 'ampted' to sleep.





posted first on FB have added a few lines.- I give thanks to my daughter for the picture of me in my youth.
I send a kiss to the wind from my hand.