Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Process on Reflection



I am taking part in a project called #reverb10 – which has become an annual event. An online initiative encouraging participants to reflect on this year, with and eye toward what’s next. “We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.” (This line straight from their site.)

It is most helpful if when one writes they don’t leave it in draft – sort of difficult to read and comment upon. During the month as I sat with the reflection process through out the day I found I didn’t get back to writing the response to the given prompt. .I kept thinking well, I’ll take some time and catch up on my writing – turn the drafts into full out responses. Yet, here it is nearly the end ~ I came to realize ~ I didn’t need to catch up. The whole process was to be a reflection, a sharing – and who wants to read 5 days worth of musings in one sitting? Not I said this Crow – I did read a lot of the others, lots of folks jumped in, to look back at their year, looking at both happy, sad, joyous, difficult times. TO reflect on what was gleaned. What was transmitted not only at the time, but in the sitting with and looking back, to look toward what was desired for the coming year. How do events change when the memory between the happening and the looking back, is within the year? When our growth and the looking inward creates a whole different outlook, or response then was felt at the time?. In the short version of Rilke – May you some day live into the question of the answer you have lived..

What doors were open, what new friends have I made through this community of sharing? What opportunities did I open for myself in the act of this responding to others questions, about my year? There were great questions! Leaving me much still to maul over. Things I learned and noticed about myself that I’d before not known. When this rolls around again, I think I’ll follow another person’s suggestion for themselves of responding in 15 minutes. I can see now where that is useful.

I am an early morning, sometimes late night writer. I am a writer, that is not disciplined in her practice ~ this is something I will work to change in the coming year. I have books to write and publish. Plus, as my grand-daughter once said to me ~ “I have friends.” You have supported me in my writing, my Life, my friendships and growth. No letting you down so fast or easy, it’s not my way.
Thank you for listening and reading and comments made. I think I will make the time to finish out the days, perhaps I’ll use some of the prompts in the new year ~ and yes there will most likely be a few “catch ups”.

In love and gratitude….Me





photo~ taken at Cornerbrook

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Memeory ~Lost and Found? Day 15



I am taking part in a project called #reverb10 – which has become an annual event. (My first time.) An online initiative encouraging participants to reflect on the year, with an eye toward what’s next. “We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.” This line straight from their site.
Some days are better then others – feel like I’ve answered some really great questions ~ Thank you for your input!


Prompt: 5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. Author Patti Digh



Laughing with my daughter, Tirzah, my lighting rod for Life!

Believing in myself enough to know I’m not broken and I don’t need to be fixed!

Sitting in silence with a friend, being a witness.

Being able to sit with a friend, as he was getting ready to pass –we laughed that I’d not been dead in a while, so couldn't remember what it was like.

Laughing with myself about myself, I am a Party all by myself :)

Watching clients grow.

Cooking and holding Sacred Space for Women in Retreat.

Holding Space in general for Growth, Peace Compassion and Love.

Crying so hard snot came out my nose.

The hand of a lover stroking the top of my head.

Coming to terms with leaving said lover.


Wait! There's more, so much more......
This is were I wish I could type more then 100 words a minute.



heart cloud - 4th of July 2009

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Day 9 Party of One?



Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. Author Shauna Reid

Often – I celebrate a party of One ~ myself a silk screen, apron over what ever I have on, turn up the music, listen to a dream, bring on the thoughts of friends who receive these calendars anew each new moon ~ ah now that’s a Party to Rock my world. Sweet and Simple. I am an ARTIST ~ I can say it out loud. I can share my Art..

Any time one or more are gather to play, create~ I love it. I most often get together for Art Saturdays with my friend Ann~ we can spend an entire day ~ few words working on the same or different things entirely. Add a bit of noshing ~ Party.

I want to cultivate more time to play and create with more friends. What’s your choice of supplies? Come play with me.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Mirror - Mirror I'm that Beauty




Prompt: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful. Author Karen Walrond

I am an Amazon Warrior.
I am at times Courageous.
I am Striking in my looks.
I am Loving.
I become small sometimes.
I LOVE Life
I enjoy Laughing, even with myself!
I Smile ~ A lot.
I am a quiet Dancer.
I am a Wild Dancer.
I Am Wild.
I am Amazing.
I am a person with large working hands.
I am able to share my gifts.
I am an Artist.
I am Strong.
I am Silly sometimes.
I am Ready for Life, Love, Fun, your Sorrow and mine ~ I am Ready
I am Brilliant.
I am Stardust, dreams have been made from me; I will leave shining dust, that you may walk in, following some of my footsteps.
Oh, yes I am all of these things and more. I am Beautifully ME!
Thank you, very much!
Quick now before I chicken out~ ha ha ha!


photo taken by friend Lael Couper Jepson Owner of SheChanges

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Might We Come Together Sharing Our Gifts?




Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? Author Cali Harris

Community – derived from the Old French, derived from the Latin cum =with/ together + munus = gift

Day 7 and the prompt knocked me to the floor. How could I respond? Had I abandoned my community or had they abandoned me? Do I truly feel that I have a sense of community here where I live? Do two folk constitute a community? I have wolf and crow energy, they are incredibly community oriented animals~ yet there is often the lone one; is that me? I struggle with the desire to be part of, belong to a pack; yet why does it feel so painful? What part of being in a pack in childhood (family of 5 littler mates); moved into my story? Making me a little stand-offish, “wary” might be the better word.

When I moved to Maine from a tiny community in Colorado; I felt indeed that I had abandoned a community that had held me, helped raise my child, loved me and boxed me in. I needed out of the box ~ I was growing in ways that at the time; I felt the community wasn’t able to take in. We were no longer able to support each other. I jumped hard, and flew out of the box. Here I am Maine, love me as I am! Do they? Do I?

Some almost 20 years later, I am no longer sure. I do not know about 2010- it has become at the moment, difficult, painful while being full of love from those who K N O W me. I will come out on the other end of this process ~ oh, right I am heading into my second Saturn return ~ this could be fun, full of possibility along with the Lunar eclipse, coming soon to a neighborhood near you!

Yes, I do have bit of community, community that I foster, a new one recently that I have fallen into and they are indeed a gift. It will take intention to keep these small pockets of community working together. What will I bring to the table? What are my gifts? What part of what I do have isn’t working? What is required to help and guide community in a healthy way?

I want to create community in which the Wisdom of Being a Wild Women/ Man is nurtured, come play with me, dance and sing with me about Life. How are you choosing to change and break old patterns. Share with me great Joy and your great Sorrow. Share with me your anger, it too takes us toward healing. What of the shame we carry? Not enough~
too much! Come share with me as we move toward who we wish to Become. Bringing our gifts as, Artist, Wild Lovers of Life, Quiet Dancers doing work of the everyday ordinary, extraordinary! Come play with me!. Be part of this community with me.

Indeed there will be more to come on this prompt – I’m just now off the floor. Blessings for the prompt!



photo meeting together at dusk before heading to the roost.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Sacred Space



Prompt: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? Author Gretchen Rubin

Today the last ‘thing’ I made was Sacred Space, a place of sheltering and open-ness for a client and friend. I am blessed in so many ways ~ most of what I do for ‘money’; invites the opportunity to create and hold Sacred Space. To use materials from within myself. Depending on how I am creating Sacred Space on any given day some of the materials will change. Yet they all hold an invitation to use an Open Heart, to listen deeper hearing what is said in the stillness of the moment as we begin. Inviting the Divine nature that is in each of us to guide the work of the day. Today it was on a massage table. Holding someone in a time of vulnerability, while they were also physically vulnerable. The courage that is required some days for us as human creatures to show up in our own lives, to share with me the fears, joys, sorrows, pain; body re-memberd or inwardly focused. The stories that are shared. I am honoured by this trust, this surrender into my safe keeping.

I create containers for healing, growth, and wonder whether it's with massage, gardening, food or Art; I find most of what I am about is creating a Safe place for others and myself to reside. Places that invite us to our Highest Becoming. My client, my self, the ripples that our healing sends out into the world.

What is it I desire to make, create? A children’s book ~ I have one floating around in my head. Being more honest here I would say I wish to create books! I have a couple rolling about, calling, I see them lurking behind my dreams. Perhaps 2011 will be the year I put them to paper, let me rephrase "I will make the time to create the books I feel lurking. Inviting myself to make and take the time I need to feed my soul." Knowing that I too deserve to be held in Sacred Space. Saying this I know also that books are Sacred, to be able to take the time needed to read or write for the sheer pleasure requires us to create Sacred Space.

. "Come, dip your pen in the language and write, tonight.
The Muse is standing by with bottles of ink."
-Marni Norwich, 2004




photo taken in October at Cornerbrook

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Going, Going, G O N E



Prompt: “Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?” Alice Bradley

Oh, how I dislike that phrase. Let Go. It’s not like the items that we need to “let go” of are a suitcase that we can drop on the side of the road ~ some very, very deserted road! Some of those events have been things that have helped to form the person, I am today. For the most part ~ I love ME!

Let Go ~ of that person, that relationship? As a verb meaning: to abandon, forsake, leave, quit, relinquish ~ ICKS! Even when a person or relationship in my life is difficult I find it hard to forsake it ~ what part of me becomes lost to myself if I can turn completely away from someone? How do I then become extinct, gone for good?

Yes, indeed there are also friendships that this past year no longer serve me on a regular, day to day. I find more that I surrender into the fact that we are no longer a good match. I still hold them and YOU in my heart. I am here if you need me! CALL. I will not abandon you, but I will also not put myself in the path of mine or your destructive ways. In the past I have made choices that walked completely away from folks ~ somehow I found and still find it in my heart to be concerned in a more global sense.

Now what about stuff ~ Stuff in general ~ not anything in particular ~ I am an Artist and therefore keep hanging around all kinds of ‘items’ that others might choose to throw away. In has stepped The Great Purgapalouza Act of 2010. I have been going through clothing; seems I really am fairly conservative in my dressing; if you get rid of the scarves – NOT. Yet there have been items lurking for a couple seasons that I no longer wear, due to fit or it’s just not me. Papers in files~ these are my worst nightmare, articles that I believe I “should” save for future use, heck I never look at them again and only once in a while do I say to a client – oh, read this. Magazines with pictures that I might use for a collage ~ who am I kidding I don’t do collage!! I have friends that do, enjoy their work so I think, perhaps a Vision Board? Sorry, it’s not happening so ~ heck pack them up and out the door! OH, Wait! Here is something I have “Let Go”, subscriptions to monthly magazines, if I notice an article I really feel I’ll read then I pick it up – otherwise, how many subscription do you have coming on a regular basis that you don’t even look at, or put in the bathroom? My bathroom is much too small for a rack of magazines!

Yup ~ stuff! I am grateful for The Great Purgapalouza Act of 2010. It gives me pause, when ever I think to buy an item. How will it work or add to my overall life experience? Do I need it? Sometimes, yes even to that extra pair of sneaks (buy a pair off a pair, still 6 pairs) or another pair of ‘Mary Janes’ or any red shoe! I stand on my feet, I love my feet – they need good shoes.


Yet overall, I have radically cut down on purchases of stuff ~ Hmmm …LET GO OF STUFF… Going, going GONE. I see a t-shirt on Zazzle!

I am Grateful that I am loved for me, with or without the extra ‘Stuff’.
And to all a good night!




photo of crow~ Thank you T.Griffin at http://www.flickr.com/photos/tirzymcwirzy/

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