Friday, March 6, 2009

Love learned as a Mom

I was a young mom, married and a little more than a week away from turning 20, when my daughter was born. Hollering, I am HERE!
How little I knew! How little I know now, some 30 years later about raising a child! Yet there is so much in this journey that I have shared with many women, those that came before, those that are Mothering now, and those that are yet to come to the job.
Things we weren’t told about, the how’s of our hearts breaking, when our child lay sick in our arms. Trusting that WE, a mere mom would know what to do. The Joy so overflowing, we could not contain it as we were told, “I lube you, mommy.” Not only the first time, but every time there after. What it is to watch your child sleep. The feelings, I have no words that will express fully what it is to be a Mom.
Nobody told me, did they tell you? That we would not be raising a child, that this child would be raising a Mom. Each human- child, wild, comes to this earth with rare unique gifts. Gifts to share with us, the Mom that carries them into this place living and breathing.
Here are some of the gifts I received, I learned that being on time is NOT always the most important thing. It is more important to hold and hug a little person when they come to us. Turned away from, we learn quickly they no longer want us.
I learned what it means to be right in the moment. To listen with all of my being as a child, told me a story.
I learned that it takes magic, made of laughter, tears, and friends mixed with a ton of prayers, to raise a child. I raised an “only” as she calls herself, my mother 5, “God, save the Queen!” I learned patience. Take a breathe or two or three, we both might make it through this event yet.
I learned that life and each moment is precious in and of itself. Once lost, they do not return. I am most grateful for all the memory pictures I hold in my hearts album.
The greatest gift I received, is Love, I learned that Love is a two way street. I learned that it comes unbidden, it hides in smiles, in the learning how to tie a shoe. It even comes in those teenage years when we think we might find ourselves facing murder charges if they don’t grow up soon. I found in laying on my dresser, in the form of a clay butterfly. I find it lurks in a telephone message from my child, “hey Mom, call me I need the recipe for…”. I also find it out in the larger world. My child opened my eyes, my heart to the beauty around me, to the people that made and make up our family.
I am the person, I am today, because as a women I was raised a Mom. With or without our own children I believe as women we become Moms to the world at large. It is the gift and the heritage we are given.
I beg that we do NOT turn away from this most important job. For if we do, who then will be there to hold our hands, when we with knees scraped, need to be held?

a thank you to my child. McWirzy. You are the BOMB my dear.

photo by T. Griffin, of one of my favorite friends.

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