It seems to me that most often, it comes from a place of fear. Our very survival feels at risk, though changes are it’s really not – yet it feels that way. Our feelings or instincts go…LOOK OUT! Run, fight or freeze. What is our standard choice. Which one do we must often fall into? I know for myself I am a ‘freezer’ - it is as if I have run into a wall or am held in suspension. My new habit is to sit with it and in it, and respond later. Versus my old way of reacting in the moment with emotions on Dangerously high levels. This period of time of sitting in/with either causes it to blow out of proportion or sometimes it offers up a change to take a breath and see that it is not at all as I supposed, this does not necessarily change the way I felt/feel. It is an opportunity to step away from the curtain, blowing voices and smoke. It is an Opportunity. The outcome unclear. Invite yourself/myself to Breathe. ( This way we know it’s not about survival.)
Though I step away, doesn’t mean the reaction is always perfect. There are patterns that I am fairly well entrenched and entrained to. Oh, yes, they do indeed limit me, I am not in a state of denial around this fact. They are places of our deepest wounding They are the chances for our greatest growth; sometimes our greatest alienation from our fellow Humankind. It is an Opportunity, still ripe with possibilities. Continue to Breathe.
These are the places I find most difficult for while I am in a struggle with them, there is the need to protect myself – sometimes and sadly in the old way. There are some that I call friend, who I am able and willing to say, “ I’m hurting, scared, and I can feel myself reacting in a way that is not useful to either of us”. If I am on the phone this usually gets from me – “I need to hang up now”. Which is what I do. I then take a breathe and regroup. My friends, know that this is me. I need to be able to Breathe come back to center. I will return. In person, I do the same – sometimes my stopping to regroup and take a Breath in and of itself can seem daunting and I am always, always filled with Gratitude when people can stand and be with me in the process. It takes courage on both sides of the issue to be in it. Not always perfect. It is still an Opportunity and continuing to Breathe is always a good thing.
I am also immensely saddened when others, that are not actually part of it all get caught in the middle. This hurts me beyond what I have words to express. They throw water or light hoping to change what I/we are feeling. Why is it that we find strong emotions so difficult to be with? Primal as they are, we wish to pretend that they do not belong to our ‘enlightened’ way of thinking. Yet in fact they are the very basis for that ‘enlightened’ way of becoming. Opportunity!
At this moment I would invite us to be gentle with each other. Allow and listen to our friends and those we hold dear to be in their own stew. Let them cook. Allow then to be right where they are, let there be no mistake ~ I believe that all parties involved are receiving what it is that will lead to their greatest opportunity of growth. Yes, SL even when part of the group may be feeling crushed, hurt. If all of our life is covered in a sugar coating – what reason do we have to move? To grow? To change the way we interact? Sometimes it is the air being sucked from our lungs and the room around us that teaches us to stand up and be counted. To have a clearer voice. Once again an Opportunity.
Know that all who are reading this are deeply loved. I thank you for hearing my voice and inviting me to my continued Growth and Possibilities.