Saturday, August 8, 2009
Grief is an emotion or a sense that we don’t often take into account. It comes in to play at the loss of a loved one, or the end of a relationship. There are other times as well, some that it seems odd that it would be there. Moving for one. Yet do we recognize it’s effect or sometimes how long it is that we are living in a low grade version? Our society wants us always to Move On, Let it GO. We want to hide away from the uncomfortable.
Today ~ August 8th, is one of those days for me. It is an anniversary of the loss of my Mom; and oddly enough at this moment I can’t say how long Trudy has been gone. For me – today and when ever I need to say, “Oh, my Mom has passed on.” I find myself feeling like an orphan. I find myself raw!
I find that other events of grief seem to all come together in a bundle when I’m in the moment and clutches of Grief. I am also grateful for those moments, the tides of my truly blessed Life. There is a certain amount of luxury that comes with being able to feel and be in an emotion. To sit with and be consumed by the feelings. To be in the belly, the pit of fire, the tears that wash us clean.
I am also grateful for my Friends, that do not judge this about me, they allow the space I need. They give a gentle call here and there –“touching base”, to bring me into the rest of my world. I am an isolator when I am deeply in emotion. I feel the need to hide away, for it seems that most of society does not want us to FEEL; we are labeled too intense, too much. I laugh easy and cry just as easy. I am grateful and blessed by friends that can live with both of these full body responses to Life. I am always struck by how difficult it is for some folks to be around any kind of display of emotion. Our labels of these places of emotion, place a judgment of good or bad upon an event, a moment in a life. Why not invite the BEING in the whatever it is?
Today, I would invite each of us to remember to tell those close to us that they are loved. For one moment they are here and then everything changes. I would invite us to live our lives as fully and as present as we can. To not hide away from joy, sorrow, grief, laughter, fear. I believe it is easier to be with these places that are uncomfortable when we allow ourselves the time needed, instead of ‘moving on’. There is time enough for moving on and past. That comes from living into the moment, allowing, inviting all the bits that belong to the moment and perhaps some that don’t to be pulled out and looked over, touched and given space. Planting seeds of joy, compassion and kindness upon the hurts, the sadness. Let the rains fall, inviting growth.
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