Feel the LOVE

So, when we think about the fact that today is considered a day for lovers. It brings to mind this thought ~ What is LOVE? I bet your brain went ~ What? We all feel and think we know what Love is, yet I wonder if each of us could really tell each other what LOVE is.

Could you do it without a metaphor and is it the same in each instant that we might use the word? It’s a four letter word with a whole lot of pack and baggage depending on how and where we were raised. According to the always ready to give advise on words Merriam-Webster it can be a noun or a verb. Coming form the Old High German luba love, Old English leof dear, and Latin libere to please 'then it meaning':
1 a) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties [now that seems a bit unclear] b) attraction based on sexual desire [don’t know about you but I would call that lust] c) affection based on admiration, benevolence or common interests
2 warm attachment, enthusiasm or devotion
3 a) the object of attachment, devotion or admiration b) a beloved person [what?] or if you happen to be British you might use it as an informal term of address
4 unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another
5 a god or personification of love
6 an amorous episode as in: Love affair
7 the sexual embrace as in: copulation or to make love ~note verb
8 a score of zero as in: tennis


So all that said and now put aside; what is LOVE? An emotion? A chemical body response? What is it truly?

I would have to say that it is a Mysterious Miracle. For something that is so difficult to really name and give voice too, we spend as a culture, as a species putting a lot of Faith toward something that we really have no way of even comprehending ~ though of course we are all positive that we do! That my friends is what makes it so darn Mysterious. We create great works of Art, written, painted, sculptured, drawn, performance and any other way you might think of in the name of LOVE.

We even commit great atrocities in the name of Love. Love of religion, culture, country and family honour. There is a great sadness that comes with this thought, yet never the less it does not change the fact that it is so.

What compels us toward this mystery? Why is it we feel left out; not good enough if we think we are not Loved? Here I would like to state that we are always always LOVED as children of the Great Creator Mother/ Father, the Goddess, Yahweh, Spirit, Higher Being, the Cosmos and Universe, depending on your belief system. Our very existence states we are LOVE , LOVED and BELOVED. (but that’s a whole other story)

Why do we have this need to Love and Be-Loved? I believe it is indeed a need versus a want. It feels in my Soulbody like the very essence of Life force! Without it the lights in our eyes don’t shine. The laughter we hear has no resonance. The kick in our dance step is lost. Yet one smile, kind word or touch and it can all come rushing back into our lives. That is indeed some powerful Medicine, Mystery and a down right Miracle!

Yes, it is a Miracle that with all the different ways, ideas, views of LOVE that we as a species ever pull it off. That indeed there are amazing stories of great Loves. That we see it no matter what else is going on in the world around us, two people with that extra little sparkle that lights up the whole space. Watching parents and their child(ren) doing something together where the rest of the world seems excluded. Oh, how we Love (verb) to be a voyeurs at those moments in time. It makes our hearts skip a beat ~ well, it does mine!

I want to invite each of us to become voyeurs to our own moments of being LOVE. The moments we randomly choose to do something kind and special for another or “god forbid” something for ourselves. We are the LOVE we wish to see in the world. We must first Love ourselves to know how it feels and what it means before we can share this Mysterious Miracle with another. For if we don’t Love ourselves no amount of someone telling us they Love us will ever feel REAL.

Though I’ve not really answered the question What is LOVE? Other then to tell you it’s a Mysterious Miracle. Because I truly think it is an unanswerable question, as many Right answers as there are creatures to love. Perhaps, I can now say ~ without a doubt

I LOVE YOU!

Happy St. Valentine’s Day 2009~

photo Two of the LOVES of my life, taken by T. Griffin , love the Momma

Memories, past, present and future

Memories, what is a memory really? Is it a truth or a lie? Is it fact? Or none of these things? Memories, we all have them both in our bodies and in our mind. Our soul holds the truth of the thing. For does not a memory get twisted and turned? Parts of it become out of time sequence, the events themselves become sharper or dull with time depending upon the emotion that the whole event invokes. Then of course we throw in the reflection of times as we “look” back or forward to how the event may have effected us; and at each reflection does not the event or the idea of the event have a touch of a different slant; for we ourselves are changed by “it” and all that has come after. The event it self is changed in so much as we are by looking at and having it “look” back at us.

Memories, I am no longer sure that even the memory that the body holds is to the point, the meat of the thing possibly. Here to I believe it gets a little turned, the light shining through it shifts, as we reflect back on the event, or as someone else, who was there tells it in THEIR memory version. Then the way society tells us we should feel about something also gets to mix it up a bit. Truth, fact fiction? A touch of it all. What causes us to reflect back or forward to take apart, “work” , and “what if” a memory. To attempt to pull apart the thread in the tapestry that is us. Why does it become important to understand the event to look from all sides of the reflection? Then I also wonder are we ever able to really re – “create” in our minds eye the fact; just the facts of a “memory”? Are we capable of doing such a thing?
Same event 4 people, four different truths, even with two - can it be instant replayed? The same with two set of eyes, ears, feelings, linear time? What if one person then dies; how is the memory then held by the one? How much of who we are gets lost as people who know us die ? When we are the only one left with parts of a memory?

I love the sensation of the memory, the feeling of the whole thing, not the “Who Done It’s”. Sometimes, I like to take the smell or the touch of a memory and hold it to my heart, forget all the details, holding only enough of them to bring the smell, the taste, the touch, the sound, the sightedness of colour or shape, the sensation into a clarity. That’s the gift of a memory, the ability to gently rock me, or to have it throw me to the wolves so to speak.

Being “thrown to the wolves”, doesn’t make the memory a “bad” thought or sensation. It’s clarity such that I am transported to a place out of the present linear time, spiraling back to a place deep within. Though here too I will also state that YES, there are memories that I am torn and ripped, eaten, chewed and spit out again. This too offer up a tid-bit, something to work, to unravel and reweave.

Sit back who needs TV; unfold a memory! Like a good book ~ they become dog-eared, quotes that stick with you through time. Some stories/memories never grow old even in the retelling. Much laughter and warmth filling the space. Besides, they are the essence of how we become WHO it is that we are.

Which of these might invite us to a deeper understanding and healing? Given the opportunity to share it and sit with what comes up? And how often might we allow and honour a memory for the gifts that it has given? The moment in time so etched in our mind.
Sitting in the quiet, a Breath, and the memory we chose unfolds......

Waking in the Night ~ Scared or Sacred?

I know that I’m not the only person in the world that wakes in the middle of the night from a dream. Sometimes my heart, a deep pounding in my chest ~ scared to the point of checking the house. Other times I can’t put my finger on what causes me to sit up – take that deep body Breath that invites me to roll over - knowing that all is right with the world, at the very least my world.

For some “unknown” reason, I noticed the other day the words scared and Sacred have two letters that transposed create each other. It got me to sitting with how is it that we have been taught to be frightened by that which is Sacred? Visions or dreams from the Great Spirits? When did the story of the Great Creator turn toward an unforgiving Creator? What story is it that we wish to create for ourselves or to believe for there are many stories that have been told over the ages, by a vast number of Cultures. How are then any less real then the life we believe we are living?

I also found that there were moments of that waking in the night in a state of being scared that it invited me to an opportunity to converse with that which is Sacred. I would like to invite my readers to that same process. Of turning toward the Sacred when they find themselves in the realm of Scared. I invite us to this place not only in the middle of the night ~ in our waking day as well.
Might I say to you also that each Breath we take is a gift ~ it is indeed Sacred ~ it is Life, it is the name of the Divine in a whisper, form “my lips to God’s ears”. I am still breathing into life into the Sacred and I need not fear, for “that which moves all that which moves” walks the road with me.

Obstacles...Love....

Remain in control of your speed and direction. Make sure you can stop and avoid obstacles at all times.-
Mount-Tremblant ski rules of conduct

Love, Sorrow bumps on the road of life - are these obstacles? Remain in control - what doors does that slam shut! I am thinking no matter how careful I am watching my speed, what will I be able to do about the sometimes breakneck speed at which my heart goes careening into another's? Or that my tears come sliding down the slope of my face when I hear that someone I care for has passed. Joy, bursting for no particular reason out of me into the world at large. Besides do I want to live a life were I am always at odds - watching out for what possibilities I'm letting pass me by for they are headed in a different direction then I am.

I wish to continue to LOVE and Laugh at the speed of light. I want to head in the direction of compassion and kindness vs. watching out for mean-spirit-ness or even down right rudeness.
Those are indeed obstacles I would be happy to avoid at all times. Yet, sometimes we need those moments to remind us of what it is like when those traits are part of our circle. Those moments also allow and invite us to stand tall in our integrity. So; perhaps I do not wish to avoid them all together......

I like to create random acts of kindness as obstacles in the middle of the day for some unsuspecting individual. Like paying the toll for the car behind me - how about that free coffee to the next person in line? My all time favorite - a extra nickle or quarter in the meter, to ward off that meter maid- did I know them- will they know? Who cares! We don't need to know them to drop an obstacle of kindness to their bad day, or hatred. It gives us all an opportunity to rush head long in a different direction from which we might have been headed. I like that idea.

While I do make sure that I can STOP when I might be ready to say some unkind thing, I Stop and take that deep long inhalation of breath, which causes me to start over, grounding into a new direction. A little movement - maybe even a nervous laugh - better then saying something I might have regretted.

I must say there is great Gratitude as I get younger at Heart. I find that I can step back in a way that I couldn't earlier in my "Teen-20's of Wisdom". For me there is a Grace in the way I have grown into myself.

So, I say by all means, speed toward love, move in the direction of obstacles that are not sharp edged and pointy. Invite yourself to lose control - (trust me it's not all that it's cracked out to be); once in a while, without putting yourself in physical danger. Learn to stop for Beauty in all things; less it pass you by. It is up to us to be aware of the richness in all directions of Life.

tickler - who am I

So here we have a bit of a tickler as I go about my day.

No matter how you are coming together -be it a new group, class or the fact that you see someone across a room. Drawn toward them you go to introduce yourself. Hi I'm .....
Are you, your work? How about your astro sign - me I'm a Capricorn, full moon in Leo, lunar eclipse at birth and Sag rising. (Hmm- did that tell you any thing). Let's try my Myers-Briggs - INFJ or my Engramme number - 6 or let's try I'm an 8 in numerology. What if I told you the year I was born? Any of that help as to WHO I am or could be? The question begs - Who am I? How is it that we introduce ourselves giving a hint of the wonderful-ness that you may have an opportunity to know or NOT. Something to ponder. I will get back to you on this.
Have a Fabulous Day!

Balance Schmalantz

I would like to acknowledge from the top that YES, my lovely friend of SheChanges, Lael (http://www.shechange.com/) I have stolen the name of our last circle gathering for this essay. I loved the sound and feel of it. I want to give credit also to the Fabulous women who shared their thoughts on this deep river of a subject. So Thank you one and all.

Yes, the feel of it. Say the whole thing a few times Balance- Schmalantz Schmalantz -Balance out loud. It’s how I feel when I think of the ways I might put all the parts of me into two scale pans; (from the Middle English and etymology of the word – as noun), and come out …..Balanced ( Here used now as a verb- and not just any verb – a transitive verb; or maybe it’s really a intransitive verb- to become balanced.)
What does that mean? The sum of emotions that run through my blood on any given day or even any given moment- keep the scales from sitting even. They are always tipped to one side or another. Does that mean I am out of Balance? No, I think not. Is my life out of balance – well, perhaps. Am I having fun with my life? Mostly!
Perhaps the question is do I feel like my life is in Equilibrium – What’s the difference you ask besides the ‘word’ well, according to Merriam-Webster:
equilibrium .1 a - state of intellectual or emotional balance, (oops there’s that word) poise b- a state of adjustment between opposing or divergent influences or elements
2 a state of balance between opposing forces or actions that is either static (as in a body acted on by forces whose resultant is zero) or dynamic (as in reversible chemical reaction when the rates of reaction in both directions are equal)
My feeling is that it is difficult to find balance or be in balance if we are alive and living a Life, we are creatures of Passion, (could be seen as chemical), we Love, we Cry, and once in a while we can love and hate something at the same time! For the most part it is my experience that if we are truly living our lives we are not flat line – I believe that is called dead!
We roller coaster some days, others we carry gently on. The very nature of our bodies holds us in some form of tension. We are in tension with our great Mother Earth – the forces of gravity. If there was balance there I think we might just float out into space. Our Lives require there be some tension. I’m not suggesting that tension is bad or good – it “just” IS. I would define that as being in equilibrium.
The choices we make to take care of ourselves vs. someone else’s needs. Some days it is most definitely not equal. It is again the nature of who and what we are. Some days its them – others it about ME! From my point of view –being a ripe youngster of 55. I am wondering if we might allow ourselves those moments of being not in balance, so that we can and do create moments of Equilibrium.
There is much that all of this original reading and dialogue has brought to mind, it will cause me to circle back round sometime in a thinner line – or a deep bright line. Time and my sense of being in my own tension and ‘aequi' state will be the deciding factor. I believe that for each of us that place is and will remain different, one's tolerance for things is at that moment what they can carry. It is not who or what they are. It is the space created between which we need to hold, allow, invite!
Today it is cold and snowy – it is Winter. Nature is in balance with our idea of what Winter is, in Maine. If I was in Hawaii with this snow I might wonder about how the weather became so out of balance.
Balance Schmalantz in the end perhaps it is all a matter of how we perceive the word. What is our understanding – and when we talk with another are they having the same understanding or experience of the word –words we are using? Might be worth a whole conversation itself. The fact that we speak the same language does not mean we understand the word the same. Can you imagine if it is a translation error? Or is that a transposition error?
Today I wish for you a sense of Equilibrium. Sad or Happy – may you know the sense of feeling at one with your self.

A Call to Arms...as in limbs

I want arms to wrap around me, stave off the cold. Arms that hold and cuddle small children and adults alike. Arms meant to lift and carry - arms covered in tattoos. Arms that pull on the lines of a boat - looking sexy at their work. Arms that are gracefully part and parcel of a human body.

When did arms become guns or even adjustable rate mortgages?

Why is it that we as humankind take words that mean one thing, then turn their useage into something that has nothing to do with it's original as we know - knew it?


arm 1. In anatomy, the upper extremity from shoulder to elbow. 2. In popular usage, the entire upper extremity from shoulder to hand.
Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary

I want to understand why arms that were meant for working, loving, acts of comfort and kindness, became something else. It's not like I don't know that arms and hands can and are used for hurting and killing. I can even understand that part of it all.

Yet what bothers me is that the first reference I found for arms had to do with guns. Some large organization that dealt in guns and weapons. Further down the 'goggle' page came adjustable rate mortgage. At the very bottom of page 1 of 10 or so had.... a little side note as in arms workouts - which in turn took me to workouts for KILLER ARMS.

Why no workouts for arms - how to hold an infant? wrapping your arms around a loved one? How to use your arms effectively (because we all know we can't/don't want to be ineffective), to carry in logs for the fire, carry in the groceries, hang laundry, or even push a cart down a street. How to use your snow blower without causing injury, to your fabulous loving arms. (That is why you're out there snow blowing isn't it? So your loved ones can get to their car without stepping in snow 2 feet deep. Right!) There are lots of things I could think of for arms besides guns and mortgages.

Yes, if you know me or continue to follow MY brain you will discover that I am indeed a HOPEFUL romantic. Forget that hopeless - crap! That is not for me. I want to hold with my arms held to my heart -that in fact most of the of Humankind is loving, caring and kind. That we will go out of our way to help another when we can. That our ARMS are meant for kinder things.